A Pause in Time….

Photo credit: smalltown_millennial

 

This momma and baby came to visit us last week. We (my daughter and I) were going about our weekend chores at home, busy and rushing about and I looked out our back door and they were in our back yard. Everything stopped in our house as we both came to the door and just watched as they moved about. They came and went a few times, and they spotted us watching them. It was beautiful and yet a reminder too that we share this place with them.

I think what if I hadn’t looked out the window. I would have missed that small gift and a chance to just stop and take in that beauty. How often in our rush to check off our TO DO list do we miss something that is really worth seeing?

The image of the two deer stayed with me along time, more so because it was just a chance encounter. But that encounter, brought everything to a stand still and we just took it in. It made me more mindful to slow down and see what else I might be so busy doing that I just don’t see what’s passing right in front of me.

Do you find your days flying by? It’s mid August, summer is coming to a close in a few weeks, and I want to ask you, what made you stop this summer? What caught you off guard and had you pause to really enjoy the moment? Or have you been so busy you haven’t really noticed much of anything?

 

Not work time, it’s play time!!
He flew so close to us on a hike, we had to stop and say hello.

 

Pause in your days, take a breath and look around. There is so much to see….

Until next week, have a beautiful day!

When the Guilt Stops….

In growing and becoming a mature person, there might be some area’s that need a little up grade now and then. How is your guilt meter? Do you feel guilty when you take time for you? Some of you are staring blankly at this post and saying “guilt, what guilt? I don’t feel guiltly at all for taking time for me.. “ and that’s awesome. You have reached a level in maturity I aspire too.

For everyone else, guilt in this area, is real and sometimes a hidden or not so hidden battle that rages on inside of us. In air planes when there is an emergency the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling and you are advised to put your own on before you help your children or those around you. I always thought,:

What?? How can this be possible??

They are your babies, you would give your life for them.  However it’s also explained, that if you dont make sure you care for yourself, you can’t care for anyone else. You are no good to anyone if you are dead.

You may have heard phrases in life such as:

  • You can’t pour from an empty cup
  • You can’t give more than you have

How many have you heard? These are not new phrases, but they are some of the hardest to understand, especially in a world that says we can do it all. And if you can’t, someone will make you think “Why not?”

Now I have a masters degree in feeling guilty. It took many years and lots of studying and taking of exams and passing with flying colours. However of my education this is the least I am proud of, it’s not something I proudly hang on my wall or bring out to show to new friends, however it seems to be the one degree that shows up loud and proud, without my help.  And in talking with people it seems many of us went to the same school and we all graduated at the top of our class. How did that work?

Having a long term relationship with feeling guilty about taking care of yourself and taking time for you, is not easy to dismantle. Wait again WHAT???

That’s right, it’s not EASY. Sure I’m going to give you 5 tips on how to start making time for you(and not feel guilt about it) and they themselves are easy (kinda). But if you have ever tried to seporate yourself from something that  refuses to go away, (excess weight, sales people when you signed up for that one free gift, that one newsletter you signed up for and now you get 10 emails a day) just remember it takes time.

Here we go:

Tip 1. Don’t agree  on the Spot. 

That means to anything. Give yourself some breathing room. When you answer in the moment, to a lunch date, a job, a project, a childs imprompt play date, a last minute dinner party, you may and often times will regret it. Then when you look at your already busy schedule and because you have said yes, usually the first to go was those free moments you had for some quiet time. And the guilt meter rises, not to mention it’s pals, the stress meter and the resentment pit. Let the person asking know you need some time to check your schedule, in the end you both will be better off.

Tip 2. Keep that appointment with yourself, it’s Vital. 

I can already hear some of you saying but what if….. and yes, stuff can come up. We live in the real world. However how much of those so called interuptions are really that important?

BUT ____________ (insert name) will be upset if I don’t ________

Stop, need I remind you that if you are to the point of exhaustion or even just really cranky, you are NO GOOD to anyone. So keep your appointment with yourself. You need to breathe, recharge, and do something that you enjoy. Or do nothing and enjoy that, Naps are wonderful too and not just for kids!! It doesn’t have to be for a long time, you are in charge of that too. But you should come back feeling ready to dive into whatever your world looks like again.

Tip 3. Be ok with others not being ok.

You might face some resistance with this taking time for you idea. Now since I’m not talking about leaving your family so you can go off and become a rock star in LA, while a great daydream, not RESPONSIBLE! I’m talking about a few hours a week. Guess what, they will survive. Feel that guilt meter go down? Good. Any change brings resistance at first. It’s proven, most people don’t like change in-the beginning even if it’s great! This is where you might have to stand your ground and take a little heat. Again put the reminder out there, you can’t be at your best, if you have nothing left.

Tip 4. Have a back up

This is more for the mom’s but it’s a good idea to always have a back up plan. Have a second person in the wings for a babysitter just in case life happens. And in general, have another me time plan incase of bad weather, or maybe that coffee shop you wanted to head too is really crowded or closed. Then your time isn’t spent trying to figure out what to do.

Tip 5. Be easy on yourself when things don’t go as planned.

You had the schedule planned, you are ready to walk out the door and a million things went wrong. So you couldn’t possibly leave and now on top of the stress/disappointment you feel, you feel guilty because you know you need to take care of yourself too. STOP! Breathe and know this life you live is day to day, moment to moment. And it’s not perfect. And it’s ok. The schedule is not in stone, life is full of interuptions, but the more we pile on our own guilt the harder it is to break free.

 

I  have in no way mastered all of those tips myself, but I’m a work in progress too. And I’m happy with that.

Enjoy your day, leave a comment below and let me know what you do to enjoy your me time, and I would love to know how you schedule it? Daily, weekly or even every month.

ENJOY YOUR LIFE, IT’S A GIFT

 

 

 

 

Fear, My Old Friend…..

What did you want to be when you grew up? For some of us “grown up” has not occured yet. What I mean by that is , I haven’t reached what I wanted to do, so therefore I’m not grown up yet!

When I was younger  I wanted to be a writer. I also wanted to be a teacher, and a mom. Well I have the mom part done, and the teaher part is an every day experience. However the writer got lost along the way. She was put on the shelf, she was hidden away because to do something like that seemed to be just a passing idea.

I have lived an interesting life. Many twists  and unexpected turns. I’ve been in education, healthcare, retail, social services, and most importantly a mom. And while I’ve loved this adventure, writing has been in the shadows saying “when is it my turn?”. And I’ve said, “ soon, now shhhh.”

Soon, is at some point. Not now, it’s not the right time. It’s the perfect description and safe word, for its on the back burner, but probably won’t happen, but it’s not completly forgotten in case someone asks. It’s an “I might get to it, comment.”

Soon, has arrived.

Fear, my Old Friend, and I finally had a well needed chat. When I put my reasons on paper for why I didn’t think my writting love should be brought into the light, I was surprised I was giving FEAR the run of my life. The voice I battled said I wasn’t good enough, or what I had to say didn’t matter. Now I solved this in other area’s of my life, but somehow Fear remained here.

My writing won’t appeal to everyone. It might not even appeal to those who are my friends and family, it might not be their style. That’s not what I started this Blog for. I had forgotten that, hmmmm still not so on top of the whole “people pleasing thing” thats another post. The point was I loved to write. I love to help and encourage people and help them move past what holds them back. I can’t do that if I stay in my own fear and  let it silence me.

Is fear your old friend too? Is  it stopping you from moving forward into something you  have had on your heart for a long time? Try these five steps, to break free and step out:

1. Write out what’s stopping you.  Make a list, get it on paper or the notes section of your phone or just get it out there. It’s a lot less scary if it’s not in your head. Dump it on the paper.

2. Look at the List. I mean honestly. How many of those concerns are really likely to happen? Fear can make you come up with a hundred reasons why something won’t work. Then look at the list again, and where you have concerns that are realistic, what real solutions can you come up with?

(For me, I want to write full time and one of my biggest and REAL reasons that stopped me is I have bills to pay. So I solved the problem by knowing that I can’t just up and quit my regular job. But I can find writting jobs to build on)

3. Pray it out. Now if you aren’t a God person, I get that. And I want to meet you where you are at. You can move past this step or take it as talking to someone you fully trust, but won’t just tell you want you want to hear. Someone who also won’t just point out why it won’t work. However if you are, and while this is step number 3, I’m guessing you and God have had a lot of conversations about what’s been on your heart. Keep praying, keep asking for His guidance. If it’s the right path, trust that this idea/desire/plan that keeps coming back is something you should be more aware of. Even if you don’t know the HOW it could work.

4.Take it to someone you trust. When I say this, I don’t mean a yes cheerleader, or a dream crusher. I mean someone who will listen, who will encourage you, someone you can bounce idea’s off, and while not a dream crusher, someone who will keep you realistic in the proccess and help you problem solve. However it also helps if you are clear, that they are not someone you are trying to impress and need their approval. Do this for you!

5.Do it. Yes, you knew this was the final step. You have to get out of the dream state, and take a step. Take an action that moves you forward in  your dream. Any action. One step, then another will follow.

 

Fear will keep you from doing a lot of things. Some of those things fear should keep you from, again another post! However today, don’t let fear stop you from living the life you are intended too. There will be twists and turns and things you may not have seen coming, and if you stumble, GET UP, and take another step. It might not turn out the way you dreamed, however it could turn out EVEN BETTER!!

 

 

You can’t see the beauty if you never look outside…

Tell me in the comments, what has held you back in the past? What’s on thing you can do to take a step forward to reach your dream?

Until next time. Enjoy your day!

A Long Journey Back

 

Hey everyone! It’s been a long while since my last post, and a lot has changed.  Maybe not on the outside, but definitely some learning on the inside.  This blog will look a little different from what I had first invisioned. While it will still be encouraging and uplifting, it’s also a journey.

I’m still in BC, and enjoying this beautiful life, but I’ve made a few discoveries along the way.  Some habits I thought I had left behind and some realizations that smacked me in the face. The first, and a little secret that apparently only I thought was a secret, was that life will only change if you are intentional about changing it.

When I arrived here, I had BIG plans, big dreams and I was going to revamp a lot in my life to make me a better healthier person.  Sounds good?? Can you see how this might not go exactily how I planned it?

Key word….. plan! I didn’t have one. I had a general idea, but not really a plan. Those who know me well, would say this is not unusual and so far Juanita you are not revamping anything in your life. And they would be right!

I started this blog, and then kinda hit the panic button and thought this needs to go on the back burner and I need to get to work. And then I let fear set in. Now I talk a lot to people about my Faith and being lead by God. And I’m here to say upfront I still panic. I’m not a perfect Chrisitian who has it all together, and doesn’t struggle with fear about the future and how I’m going to pay for things and what direction my life is going in. And if you feel that way too, boy am I glad to meet to you.

When I say I got  to work I mean, I overloaded my schedule. I took my life back into my control. Or so I thought. What I really did was make myself sick… again. I have a history of doing this. I struggle with saying no and trusting what is better. I work to the point of throwing my body, mind and spirit out of anything that could be considered healthy. I don’t eat properly and recovery goes out the window, followed by smart choices and realistic expectations for my best health.

Now why am I telling you all this? Well because when I talk about encouraging others and healing and listening to God, I want you to know I’m still a mess.  My words aren’t coming from some pie in the sky, or some “I know better because I am a Christian who does everything right” ( I would really really like to meet someone who has never done anything wrong and who really has it all together all of the time).

I’m taking this back slide and picking myself up all in stride. On the incredible up side it did not take me long to see the error of my ways ( thank you mom and Kat) for their loving words and swift kick in the butt. You are never too old to take advice from your mom, and trusted family. Keep that in mind.  And keep in mind when you are not following where God is leading and you say you are following and keep hitting walls, it’s time to really open your eyes and question who are you really following??

Until next time, enjoy your day! 😊

Juanita

A Walking Inspiration….

 

Today it’s crazy windy but stunning. I want to offer you a moment of encouragment as you go about this weekend. As I walked along this morning, the waves crashing as a storm was brewing, Mother Nature having her way and the craziness that can mean. I want to draw your attention to the beauty and power that it can produce. More the beauty, the real beauty of it. And respecting the power of the waves and how they can seem like they just roll in and out. The waves can catch you off guard and pull you in, often like emotions, often like hurt feelings and unkind words.  The point is you can step back, you can look at things from a distance, not step into it or put yourself in its path, on purpose anyway.  Storms, crashing waves, high winds, water spray, and the rocks are all beautiful….. at a distance.  Finding the calm, knowing when to move out of the way, seeing the beauty, now that is the real power.

Stunning Views on my walk at Willow Point B.C

 

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist..” – Oscar Wilde

 

” Train your mind to see the good in everything.”- unknown

 

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!

Juanita 😊

Oh Those Less then Perfect Moments

I’m new at this setting up a blog thing, well sort of.  I understand the writing part, and I’m slowly getting the technical part (slowly, very slowly).  And I’m honest about this, the tech side is not my strong side. I love to write, that’s my favorite part.

So small confession, I get frustrated easily with tech things that I can’t figure out. Does anyone else out there understand that feeling???  Anyone at all?

 

I posted this picture on Instagram earlier today, and my daughter  brought up a good point, it looks like I broke my tablet, I assure you I did not, it is simply face down while I have a time out. After reading her comment, I burst out laughing because it really did appear like I broke it.

Now in the past I would have fussed and huffed and puffed and lost my mind.. (shhhhh I didn’t say how long in the past)……. hmmmm ok carrying on..

I can be real, and honestly I can still loose my mind and put myself in a time out. But here’s the encouragment part (ready??) We are human! We get frustrated and how we deal with it, we can grow and change and mature. We don’t have to do what we have always done. And you don’t have to feel guilt and hold it against yourself. Pick yourself up! Forgive yourself and take a deep breathe, take a walk and if need be try again later. If you lost your mind around other people, own it. Say you blew it, Say you’re sorry and do better next time, don’t hide it, don’t shrug it off. Own it, but don’t let it hold you down. We get so wrapped up in not making mistakes, or trying to bluff our way to those around us into hoping theythink we don’t make mistakes, that it makes it harder to say “I messed up”.

Is it easy to admit you messed up? Do you say your sorry or   do you hope you can drop it and it never be talked about again? Leave me comment below and tell me your story.

See, still smiling.

Until next time, 😊

 

 

 

 

Taking a Wrong Turn……

 

When was the last time you took the wrong road? Missed that turn? Ended up somewhere you hadn’t intended? How did you react? Did you shake your head, sigh and find a way to turn around? Did you get mad, maybe let a word or two escape your lips? It happens to the best of us.  Currently it’s happened a lot to me as of late.

I mentioned in my last post I moved to a new province. One I really don’t have a lot of experience in. Ok…never mind “Alot”, how about zero. I’m traveling roads I didn’t know before and finding places I’ve never been….. and missing more turns then I care to mention.

So how do I respond? Well I laugh. Yes, I’m not kidding, I laugh. Do I always laugh….. no. And my daughter can definitly support that. In the past week I had two very different reactions to taking a wrong turn.

The first was on our way to my new home. It was the end of day one, and we had driven along way, it was snowing hard, and we were looking for the place to pick up our pizza. I missed the first turn, and then got lost twice….trying to get back. I was cranky, and hungry and a little on the panic side because the roads were getting bad in a city I was not familiar with. It made things a little strained to say the least. And I was no longer happy and calm….

Fast forward a week…… I’m coming back from getting groceries and took the wrong turn. The fog had setttled in and I’m still learning my new area. I drove well out of my way, taking several wrong turns, finding myself in two parking lots and way off target, until I found the road I needed…..but the difference was I was laughing the whole time. I was still smiling when I opened my car door to head into my home.

So what was the difference? Sure road conditions, but I was still lost, I still made the wrong turns, and in the end I was still late in getting dinner going. However I realized something, I let myself get annoyed in the first case. I forgot I was in control of my attitude and I held myself to a standard of knowing what I was doing, or where I was going, without really knowing where I was going. In the second case,  I remembered this is just a journey and I had plenty to learn, so relax, I’m going to keep messing up and it’s ok.

It’s not easy to laugh sometimes when you miss a turn, make a mistake or head in the wrong direction (many many times). I want to tell you, it’s ok. It’s ok not to be perfect. It’s ok to not get it right all the time! Breathe, pause, and then move forward! It will be ok……

I would love to hear from you, leave me a comment on a time you either lost your mind or had a good laugh because you couldn’t get to where you were going because you missed your turn.

Until next time……

 

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Hello All!

Welcome to my new blog! I’m Juanita and I’m here to share some encouragement and hopefully bring a smile to your heart. Wait….. what did she say?? Encouragement? Good feeling stuff? Smiling and happy stuff….

Ok, so I know not everything is Bad news out there in media land and there are lot’s of people like me who write really good blogs  about really positive things! Trust me, they are out there!

My mission with this blog is bring my love of encouraging people to see the world as a good place even with all the bad things that go on. Not always easy, but definitly worth exploring! Oh and as time goes on you will see I toss in a whole lot of humour (usually at my own expense) because I do look at the funny side of life and find humour in the weirdest places and situations!

This blog is not only a new journey in itself, but I began a real life journey aswell, I just moved to a new province (from Alberta to British Columbia, Canada) away from my family and friends and where I grew up. Where I’ve landed I’ve never been before, I packed up my little car and began this new life. It was 20 plus years in the making, and with a few unxpected twists and turns (a few missed exits, and an extra day….but thats another story) and a whole lot of laughing,  I’ve opened a new chapter in life.

It’s never too late to start something new, set another goal, or follow another dream. It may take time, planning, prayer(a lot of prayer) and a few mistakes along the way, but don’t give up. Your dream may not end up the way you thought it would, it could turn out a whole lot better! As I look out my window right now, it’s raining but it’s stunning! It’s grey and yet I couldn’t be happier because it took 20 years and I’m here and I have no idea what is waiting around the corner!

Thanks for starting this adventure with me. I look forward to sending out some amazing encouragment, funny stories and hope to your heart.

Your turn….. what adventure or goal are you thinking about but just need that little push to take the first step? What’s holding you back?

 

 

Beautiful Seaside walk, yes it’s raining and yes it was amazing